Tantrums happen when children are overwhelmed by strong feelings and lose control of their emotions and behaviour. They happen most often in toddlers and are a normal and necessary part of their development. As children get older they gradually learn to manage their own feelings and learn the behaviour that is expected of them.
Let’s take a closer look at toddler tantrums, what may cause them and the natural therapies that may help.
What is a tantrum?
A tantrum is when a child loses control of their feelings and behaviour. They are not able to calm themselves down or think about what is happening. Tantrums are a chance for children to learn about feelings that may seem ‘big’ to them. When an adult responds to a child's feelings and to the cause of the tantrum, it helps to teach a child the skills to manage their own feelings and behaviour.
Not all strong feelings are tantrums. Children can be defiant or angry at times, but it doesn't mean they are losing control and having a tantrum.
What causes toddler tantrums?
You may have heard of the term 'temper tantrum' but the anger and frustration of a tantrum is always mixed with other feelings.
A toddler may be:
- Scared
- Jealous of a sibling
- Disappointed at not getting what they want.
- There might be too much going on around them, or they could be hungry, unwell or tired.
Why toddler tantrums happen
Tantrums are most common in children aged one to three years. This is because children’s social and emotional skills are only just starting to develop at this age.
Children often don’t have the words to express their emotions. They may want more independence but fear being separated from a parent or caregiver as well as discovering that they can change the way the world works.
Older children can have tantrums too. This may be because they haven’t yet learnt more appropriate ways to express or manage their feelings. For both toddlers and older children, there are things that may make tantrums more likely to happen:
Temperament
This influences how quickly and strongly children react to things like frustrating events. Children who get upset easily might be more likely to have tantrums.
Stress, hunger, tiredness and overstimulation
These may make it harder for children to express and manage feelings and behaviour.
Tough Situations
Situations that children can’t cope with. For example, a toddler might have trouble coping if an older child takes a toy away.
Strong emotions
Worry, fear, shame and anger may be overwhelming for children.
Herbs to help with toddler tantrums
Lemon Balm. A herb for relaxation, focus, and calm. It may aid in reducing mild anxiety.
Passionflower. Passionflower contains flavones called chrysin that may help to relax the mind.
Chamomile. More research is needed but some studies show that chamomile may offer some benefits for sleeplessness and mild anxiety in adults.
It is a carminative herb which means to aid in reducing digestive spasms and bloating. It may also help to calm the nervous system.
Valerian. Valerian is an adaptogenic herb and it is also a natural relaxant. Valerian may also contain natural sedative actions for some people. This herb may be effective for soothing agitation as it has been shown to have positive effects on sleep in children with deficits that involve hyperactivity.
Always seek advice from your healthcare professional before starting a new supplement routine.
Vitamins and minerals that may help with toddler tantrums
Magnesium. This mineral is used in over 300 reactions in the body and is important for healthy nerve conduction, muscle activity, protein synthesis, DNA synthesis and immune function. Sufficient magnesium is important to help maintain levels of serotonin, the mood-regulating hormone.
Zinc. Zinc is an important mineral. It is necessary for many system functions, including the brain, immune system and gut health. An adequate zinc status may help the body to respond well to daily stress.
B vitamins. These may help to relieve tiredness and fatigue when dietary intake is inadequate as they are involved in cellular energy production. B vitamins are also used in important biochemical pathways including the production of critical brain neurotransmitters (chemicals that nerves use to communicate with each other) necessary for healthy behaviour regulation.
Diet changes that may help with toddler tantrums
Foods to be mindful of
Added sugar
Foods high in added sugar and refined carbohydrates may contribute to irritability and low mood.
Food Additives and food colouring
Research around synthetic food additives and food colouring with mood and behaviour in children has been studied but results are mixed. More research is needed, particularly around the quantity consumed and whether certain individuals may be more sensitive to food additives and colours. What we do know is that a minimally processed, wholefood dietary pattern that is aligned with the dietary guidelines is best for overall wellbeing and for supporting mood.
Foods to Include
Citrus fruits and berries. These fruits are full of a beneficial antioxidant known as quercetin, which supports brain cells against oxidative stress. Although these fruits contain natural sugars, they are low on the glycaemic index which means they won’t spike insulin levels and contribute to mood instability.
Oats. Oats are considered low GI wholegrains that release their energy slowly so our energy levels are more stable.
Eggs. Eggs contain essential vitamins and minerals to help many systems of the body, especially the brain. They are rich in tyrosine, which we use to make the brain chemical dopamine which has many different functions in the body.
Oily Fish. Salmon, mackerel, sardines and other oily fish contain omega-3 fatty acids which include both EPA and DHA which are important for a healthy mood.
Both of these fatty acids have the ability to help electrical signals in the brain to pass easily from one cell to another. Oily fish may also aid concentration and brain function.
Spinach. Green leafy vegetables, such as spinach or kale may help to increase mood because they are rich in zinc and magnesium. Both of these minerals play an important part in brain development and attention. Spinach is also rich in B vitamins, which are associated with improved mental wellbeing.
Related reads:
References
- https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/tantrums#triggers-for-big-feelings-tantrums
- Ghazizadeh, J., Sadigh-Eteghad, S., Marx, W., Fakhari, A., Hamedeyazdan, S., Torbati, M., Taheri-Tarighi, S., Araj‐Khodaei, M., & Mirghafourvand, M. (2021). The effects of lemon balm (Melissa officinalis L.) on depression and anxiety in clinical trials: A systematic review and meta‐analysis. Phytotherapy Research, 35(12), 6690–6705. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34449930/
- Janda, K., Wojtkowska, K., Jakubczyk, K., Antoniewicz, J., & Skonieczna-Żydecka, K. (2020b). Passiflora incarnata in Neuropsychiatric Disorders—A Systematic Review. Nutrients, 12(12), 3894. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7766837/
- Singh, O., Khanam, Z., Misra, N., & Srivastava, M. (2011). Chamomile (Matricaria chamomilla L.): An overview. Pharmacognosy Reviews, 5(9), 82. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3210003/
- Francis, A., & Dempster, R. (2002). Effect of valerian, Valeriana edulis, on sleep difficulties in children with intellectual deficits: randomised trial. Phytomedicine, 9(4), 273–279. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12120807/
- https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/magnesium
- https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Zinc-HealthProfessional/
- Hanna, M., Jaqua, E., Nguyen, V. L., & Clay, J. (2022). B vitamins: Functions and uses in Medicine. The Permanente Journal, 26(2), 89–97. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9662251/
- Firth, J., Gangwisch, J. E., Borisini, A., Wootton, R. E., & Mayer, E. A. (2020). Food and mood: how do diet and nutrition affect mental wellbeing? BMJ, 369(1). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7322666/
- Trasande, L., Shaffer, R. M., & Sathyanarayana, S. (2018). Food Additives and Child Health. Paediatrics, 142(2), e20181410. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6298598/
- Miller, M. D., Steinmaus, C., Golub, M. S., Castorina, R., Thilakartne, R., Bradman, A., & Marty, M. A. (2022). Potential impacts of synthetic food dyes on activity and attention in children: a review of the human and animal evidence. Environmental Health, 21(1). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9052604/
- https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/food-and-your-mood
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5214562/
- https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0002916522007717#:~:text=Conclusions,flexibility%2C%20and%20reduced%20socioemotional%20problems
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6770181/
- Food colours: Existing and emerging food safety concerns https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25849411
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